Viagra Jokes

One day, an old man went to the drug store to buy some viagra. He went to the clerk and asked for 6 packs of viagra, chopped up into small pieces.  The clerk replied, "That simply won't be enough to work for more than a minute!"  The old man put on a smirk and said, "I know, you see, I only need enough to get me dick out enough so that I can pee into the toilet and not onto my shoes!"

In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name:

Tylenol is acetaminophen,
Aleve is naproxen,
Amoxil is amoxicillin,
Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on....

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced that it has settled on Mycoxafailin. Also considered were Mycoxafloppin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Mydixadud, and Alimpdixafixit, and of course Ibepokin.

A man fell asleep on the beach under the midday sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister. Anything that touched his legs caused agony. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra. Rather astounded, the nurse inquired, "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?"

The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off of his legs."

Liquid Viagra
Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails," "highballs" and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO."

Tetanus shot

This old man in his eighty's got up and was putting on his coat.

His wife said, "Where are you going?"

He said, "I'm going to the doctor."

And she said, "Why, are you sick?"

"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."

So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?"

She replied, "I'm going to the doctor too."

He asked why.

She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot!"

Grandpa & Grandma

Grandpa and Grandma were living with their son and daughter-in-law. Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one.

His son said, "Dad, I don't think you should take one - they're very strong and expensive."

Grandpa said, "I know, but I want to try one. How much are they??"

His son replied, "$10 each."

Grandpa only had a $50 bill but was going to the bank. He told his son that he would leave $10 under his pillow that night.

The next morning his son found $110 under his pillow and said, "Dad, I told you it was only $10. There's $110 under my pillow!"

Grandpa said, "That's ok, the other $100 is from Grandma!"